Fighting the Urge to Sleep
by Bware0313
Summary: Harry has defeated Voldemort, but now he owes an explanation to a certain red hed.


Ginny had never felt this way before. Her joy canceled out all of her grief. She felt emotionally neutral. She didn't even know whether she should feel happy or sad. So many things had happened so quickly. The deaths of Remus, Tonks, and Fred had been unbearable. However, seeing her Harry lie limp on the ground had ripped her heart out. She had emotionally collapsed. She felt that she had nothing left to live for. Her life had suddenly become meaningless. Luckily for her, Harry wasn't dead. He was alive and had killed Voldemort. She knew what this meant; she had a chance for a future with Harry.

She looked up at her family. Her mother sat next to her weeping. Her father sat across her mother and held her hand over the table. Silent tears ran down Fleur's cheeks as she laid her head on Bills shoulder. Charlie was sitting next to his older brother, and was wearing an expression of extorted pain across his face as he wept. George however, was the worst of them all. He sat unmoving. His face was unchanging. There were no tears running down his face. His expression was unreadable, but Ginny knew exactly how he was feeling. She sighed and looked around the hall.

Ron and Hermione were sitting a table over. She could tell that something had changed between them. As she looked closely, she easily noticed the subtle differences. They were sitting far closer than they ever had during their years at Hogwarts, and she saw her Ron's hand rub Hermione's lower back. However, the biggest change that had yet to be noticed by anyone else, it was just the two of them. Harry was not there. She sighed; she knew that they would finally be together. "About time…" she grumbled in her head. However, they were not her primary concern. She looked around the hall again, and found her target.

Harry was propped against the table, looking battle worn and exhausted. She wanted to talk with him, she wanted to hold him, she wanted to make him hers, but knew that today he belonged to the Wizarding World. The task of getting a minute alone with him would be nearly impossible. Still... Would it really be so bad if she took Luna's place next to him? Ginny was still contemplating moving to Harry's side when she heard Luna's Voice.

"Oooh, look, a Blibbering Humdinger!"

Everyone looked away momentarily, but Ginny wasn't fooled. She kept her eyes on Harry, and was not surprised to see the swish of a silvery cloak and his sudden disappearance.

She sighed again and laid her head on her mothers shoulder. Harry deserved some time to himself. He would come to talk to her when he was ready. She was sure of it.

She glanced up again and saw Ron and Hermione walking out of the hall. She smirked to herself, and wondered which empty classroom would be their choice for a good snog. Suddenly it hit her. They were not alone.

As soon as they left the hall Ginny stood and followed them. As the two of them ascended the staircase, she heard Harry's voice, and knew she had been correct. She moved into the shadows, drew her wand, and casted a Disillusionment Charm on herself. This had been a pretty handy trick to know when you were running from the Carrow's. Turn a corner, and in one quick motion cast the charm on yourself and dive into the shadows. They knew what you had done, but if you were good enough at the charm, it bought you just enough time to get away.

She followed the trio, but was not able to follow their conversation very well at all. Words like Horcruxes, and Kings Cross floated back to her,

"What on earth does Kings Cross have to do with Voldemort?" She wondered

She stayed behind them until they arrived at the entry to the Headmaster, or know, she supposed, the Headmistresses office. The gargoyle guarding the entrance had been knocked over, and for a fleeting moment, she wondered if Tonks would have been able to pull off that feat. As Tonks came across her mind she stifled a silent sob, afraid to be heard.

"Can we go up?" Asked Harry

"Feel free." Groaned the statue.

As the three of them stepped onto the moving staircase, Ginny gave up and sat down near the entrance. She knew that if she followed them, she would not be able to make light of their conversation, but surely in the confinements of McGonagall's office she would be discovered.

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Averting his gaze from the beaming Hermione and the shocked Ron, Harry withdrew the Hawthorne Wand from his wand holster and replaced it with his Phoenix Wand. He now held the both the Hawthorne Wand and the Elder Wand in his hand. He had promised Dumbledore that he would return the Elder Wand to his grave and had the absolute intention of doing so, but what to do with the Hawthorne Wand? If he returned it to Draco, would it work for him as it had before? Would he be able to recover the wands allegiance? Regardless, he was sure that Draco would want it back.

Harry looked up at his friends again, and swayed on the spot. He had been fighting sleep off for several hours, and wanted nothing more than his Four Poster in his dormitory.

"Come on… let's go home… I want a sandwich." He muttered

Ron and Hermione exchanged a brief glance, and Harry guessed that whatever he had tried to say hadn't exactly come out right. The three of them stepped on the staircase and it began to move downwards.

"Feels a bit strange doesn't it? I mean, it being all over…" said Hermione.

Harry and Ron exchanged a glance, but had nothing further to comment.

As the staircase was coming to an end, Harry stared at his feet to make sure that he wouldn't fall on his face as he stepped off. He looked up only when Hermione gasped. A tear faced Ginny stood at the exit to the office.

"Ginny…" he muttered, unable to take his eyes from her.

He was sure that Ron was about to say something, and was immensely grateful when Hermione hauled him away by his wrist, leaving Harry and Ginny alone for the first time since their last run in the Burrow.

Her gaze met his, and her eyes were unreadable.

"Harry…" she replied.

Suddenly she was in his arms and he was kissing her more passionately than he ever had. This was what he had dreamed about every night that they had been on the run. Harry reveled in the pressure of her body against his, and the feel of her hair in his hands. He gasped in a breath of air, and could almost taste her flowery scent on his tongue. He drew in a long breath through his nose and was overwhelmed in it. Her tongue pushed past his lips into his mouth and Harry shuddered from the mere pleasure of it. At this point, in his sleep deprived state, his knees gave out, and he fell backwards onto his bottom, with his back leaning against the wall. He had hung onto her somehow, and she was now on her knees in front of him. Her face swam before his eyes as he fought to keep consciousness.

"Harry… I hardly think that this is the place for that…" Ginny said with a giggle.

Harry considered this for a moment. The place for what? Sleeping? It seemed just as good a place as any. Okay, maybe the ground was a little harder but that was beside the point. He had slept in a tent for the past number of uncountable months.

She looked up and down the hallway and then back it him with a mischievous glance. Harry suddenly felt her rifling through his robes, and was suddenly worried if she knew about the Elder Wand. Before he could grab her hands to stop her, she found what she was looking for, and pulled out his Invisibility Cloak.

"Come on…" she hissed.

She threw the cloak over the both of them and pulled him along. Harry closed his eyes and trusted her to take him to their destination. Finally, they stopped moving. He opened his eyes to see that they were standing in front of the Room of Requirement. Harry hesitated for a moment however. He had a fleeting realization of Ginny's intentions.

Before he could say anything she had pulled him through the door. She turned around and Harry noticed her turn a key in the door, locking it from the outside. He briefly contemplated why the room had not offered this feature for the Dumbledore's Army when they were hiding from Umbridge.

"Ginny… What did you ask the room for?" Harry asked as he turned around.

In the middle of the room there was a comfortably sized bed; just big enough for the two of them. He looked back at her and saw the blazing look on her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and started kissing him again. When they surfaced for air, they were standing right in front of the bed.

Harry was suddenly aware that his robes were being pulled off. She threw them onto the floor and then began working on Harry's t-shirt. He grabbed her hands and said,

"Ginny… What are you doing?"

"I want you Harry… I want you now…"

"I hardly think that this is the time for that…"

She smiled mischievously at him, and said, "That's my line."

She pushed him down onto the bed. She then climbed in on top of him, and resumed kissing him. Harry was still fighting off sleep and he suddenly realized what was happening. He was right; this was hardly the time for this. But, then again, why not? He had just fought a freaking war for this moment. Did they not deserve this after a year apart? There wasn't a question of whether or not he loved her. He wanted to marry her and make her his forever. How could this not be right?

Ginny suddenly noticed a response from Harry and moaned as his lips began caressing her neck. His hands slid from her hair to her waist, and began running up and down the curves on her sides. She broke the kiss off then, and smiled down at him. Harry was wearing a silly grin on his face, and his eyes were out of focus. Suddenly they closed, and his head fell back onto the pillow, and his hands became motionless.

"Dammit…" she breathed.

Rejection washed through her. She had made herself completely open to him. She had left herself completely vulnerable, and he had rejected her. She thought back and realized that Harry had been restrictive towards her that morning, and it was only in the heat of the moment that he had become responsive.

She let out a hard sob as she realized the very real possibility that Harry didn't want to be with her anymore. A lot had happened between them. She couldn't possibly expect that things could be the same as they had been at the end of the last year.

She remembered what he had said to her in her room on his birthday, "I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground, to be honest." Had this been nothing more than a lie? A cover up? Had Harry found someone that he wanted to be with more than her?

Ginny was crying now. More than she had all day, if that was possible. All that she had wanted for the past year was Harry. He had been in every though and dream she had had since the Death Eaters had disrupted Bills wedding reception. All that she wanted was a future with Harry.

Ginny let out a heart wrenching sob as another dark thought crossed her mind. What if he didn't want a future with her? This question stopped her in her tracks. She couldn't force herself upon him. That wouldn't be fair. If he wanted to live his life with some other witch, then she would let him. She stifled a sob as she remembered her fourth year at Hogwarts. Harry had been all but unaware of her. She could still remember that last DA meeting before Christmas that year, as Harry hung behind to talk to Cho Chang. It had been so hard to just walk out the door leaving the two of them alone.

She sighed and let out a sob at the same time. The sound of it startled her and brought her back to the moment. Whatever Harry wanted to do with his life, she would let him. It was only fair to him. She would do anything to make him happy.

With this realization she said, "Good bye Harry…"

She stood up off the bed and began walking towards the door.

"Ginny…"

She turned around to see Harry turning in his sleep. He was dreaming about her. Good or bad, she did not know.

Suddenly, Ginny looked up smiling. As she climbed back into the bed and snuggled up next to Harry, she realized that no matter his decision in the morning, he was still hers tonight.

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Harry turned in his sleep. His dreams had been cluttered. Faces swam in front of his eyes and scenes had changed rather abruptly.

One minute he was making beautiful love to Ginny, and in the next he was chained to a wall, watching her being tortured and raped by masked men while he sat there wandless and helpless. Then he was on a picnic, enjoying free time and sunlight with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. The next moment the Burrow was on fire. Ron and Ginny were inside, and no matter how hard Harry fought, he could not break the Death Eaters grip that was keeping him from entering the blazing building.

Next, the moment in the Forbidden Forest with Voldemort replayed in his mind, except that in this version, he had drawn his wand to duel Voldemort.

"First Harry, we bow." Hissed Voldemort, sinking into a low curtsy.

Harry bent over a few inches, keeping eye contact with those red pitiless eyes. In his peripheral vision, Harry saw Hagrid fighting against his bindings, still silenced by the charm the death eater had placed upon him. If Harry was not mistaken, the tree was about to be uprooted.

Keeping eye contact with Voldemort, Harry said, "One."

Voldemort replied "Two."

"Three."

Harry dove out of the way as a green light flashed where he had just been standing. He rolled and jumped behind a tree.

Harry heard Voldemort shout, "_AVADA KEDAVRA_!"

Upon the spells impact, the tree caught fire and Harry rolled again. Harry raised his wand and shouted, "_EXPELLIARMUS_!"

Nothing happened. Voldemort smirked and began slowly walking towards Harry.

"_IMPEDIMENTA!_" Once again nothing happened. Voldemort's grin widened and he picked up his pace slightly.

"_STUPEFY!_" Harry roared in frustration, but once again, nothing happened.

Voldemort was grinning manically now. He raised his wand. Harry saw the wand movement and knew what was coming

"_PROTEGO!_" The shield charm he casted was useless and the Hawthorne Wand suddenly flew out of Harry's hand. He knew that it was over. He heard the sniggers as the Death Eaters laughed at his impending fate. Hagrid had finally broken the silencing charm and was screaming profanities at Voldemort. Harry looked Voldemort in the eye and heard him murmur,

"_Crucio._"

The pain hit Harry like a wrecking ball, and suddenly Harry was on his back in the forest screaming in agony.

The scene shifted again, and suddenly the pain was gone. Ginny was now lying on top of him, and was slowly, but passionately kissing him. Harry tried to kiss her back, but discovered that he couldn't move. After a moment she stopped kissing him. The look in her eyes cut a hole through Harry's heart,

"Good bye Harry…" she whispered.

It was only when she stood up and began to walk away that Harry was finally able to utter a sound. "Ginny…" he croaked.

The scene shifted again, but for the rest of the journey Harry wandered through meaningless scenes of random colors and voices.

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Harry woke with a start, and for a moment didn't know where he was. It took his eyes a moment to acclimate to the darkness. Suddenly, he was aware that he was not alone. Ginny lay on his chest, soundly sleeping, with her ear right above his heart. She was curled into a ball with her back fitting the mold of his arm which was curled around her, with his hand on her bum.

Harry quickly moved his hand onto her side, and took in a deep breath. This was what he had fought for. He could finally live his life without worry. He finally had a future with this beautiful witch who was laying across his chest. After all she had been through, she still trusted Harry so much that she felt completely safe lying in his arms. For a fleeting moment Harry wondered if she fallen asleep listening to his heartbeat, or if she had just shifted in her sleep.

Harry smiled and took a deep breath as Ginny finally began to stir. Her scent was intoxicating. Her eyes opened, and she slowly sat up to look at him.

"Morning." Harry said happily

Ginny looked at him, but did not say anything in return.

Harry sighed and said, "Ginny, we need to talk."

"Its okay, Harry I get it. I will just get my things and go…"

Ginny scrambled out of the bed and began pulling on her robes over her t-shirt and jeans.

Harry was confused. One moment this beautiful witch was sleeping peacefully on his chest, and the next she was in a rush to leave?

"No… Ginny… Wait…"

Tears now filled her eyes as she looked at him. "It's ok Harry. I'm not the witch in your life anymore. I get it. I just want you to be happy."

Ginny started towards the door, but Harry quickly wound his hands around her waist and pulled her back to him. "Ginny… Not the witch in my life anymore? What are you talking about? You are the witch in my life! You are my life! I fought this whole damn war for you Ginny!"

"I am the witch in your life?" she asked.

Harry was confused. Hadn't they just spent the night together? What had possibly convinced her that he didn't want her?

"Ginny. When we were on the run. There was only one way I was ever able to fall asleep at night."

Harry looked up to evaluate her expression. He wasn't sure how she would respond to this bit of information. Looking back, it even seemed kind of creepy to him.

Harry sighed. "I would pull out the Marauders Map. Only after I saw your dot safe in bed, was I ever able to fall asleep."

Ginny sobbed silently and fell into his arms.

"Harry… You seemed so resistant." She sobbed.

Harry contemplated that for a moment. When had he ever been resistant when it came to her? At the look upon his face, Ginny proceeded to explain.

"I thought you wanted me as much as I wanted you… When you fell asleep… I thought…"

The sudden realization hit Harry with the force of the night bus. "Ginny, I hadn't slept in nearly 36 hours; I was falling asleep standing up! How in the hell was I supposed to lay in a bed without dosing off?"

Ginny just looked at him. "Why haven't you been sleeping?" she asked.

"Well… that's another story. Ginevra Molly Weasley, I want you just as much, if not more than I ever have. I fought this entire god damn war for you and you will not think any differently of my intentions!"

Ginny smiled and looked at him. "Do you really mean that Harry?"

"Love, of course I mean that."

Suddenly she hugged him more tightly than she ever had.

"Then in that case, would you mind picking up where we left off?" she asked mischievously as she pulled him towards the bed.

"No love. I wouldn't mind that." he chuckled.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you more Ginny."


End file.
